


Professor Elric?

by schrijverr



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Edward Elric, BAMF Hermione Granger, Badass Edward Elric, Badass Hermoine Granger, Canon-Typical Violence, Colonel Edward Elric, Crossover, Ed Swears, Edward Elric Keeps Alchemy, Edward Elric Keeps Automail, Gen, Mentions of canon violence, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Canon, Post-Promised Day, Professor Edward Elric, Relationships are very much not in the picture and barely there, Sassy Edward Elric, Smart Ron Weasley, Tags May Change, Teacher Edward Elric, Wizards are Idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-12-17 02:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrijverr/pseuds/schrijverr
Summary: After The Promised Day Edward is sent on a miliary mission to Hogwarts where he will teach Alchemy to his students. He is told not to interfere with their business, but he has a hard time not getting involved with this weird Voldy prick.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find this on my tumblr (@schrijverr), hope you pop in and say hi!!

Eward Elric was grumbling to himself as he was shoving his body into a specially tailored Army Uniform. He had saved the country and his brother and now he had to do this!

Wait, maybe there should be a little explaining beforehand. The Promised day has passed, but Truth, who was so ecstatic that Ed had given the right answer had allowed him to keep his alchemy if he agreed to keep his metal arm. Ed had agreed, a bit suspicious, but whatever. 

After that he had tried the country life, but it wasn’t for him, not anymore. So he found himself knocking on Mustangs door a few weeks after and before he knew it he was back in the military, but now with costume. It was all fine until he got this assignment, he had to be a teacher… at a school… with children… where people believed in magic… and thought alchemy was magic… 

Ed hated his life, right about now.

He was still grumbling when he entered Mustangs office for his last briefing before he went off. The man in question seemed way too smug for Edwards liking, so he grit his teeth and said: “Well, get on with it.”

“With pleasure. So, you will be teaching Alchemy, it’s the same as here. You are doing that so that we can create allies with this “wizard world”, and we need allies after what happened here. Since you are the face of Amestris we have decided that you will wear your uniform.” 

And there it was, that smug smile on that bastards face. He had done that specifically to piss Eward off, he just knew it. He hadn’t even realized he was exploding until he was in the middle of yelling at Mustang. 

When he was out of breath and heaving angrily Mustang gave him another smug look and said: “Just a joke Fullmetal, but you will wear it at the introduction dinner at the beginning of the year and at holidays, do you understand?”

Edward gave him a menacing look, but knew that protesting would never work in his favor, so he begrudgingly agreed. Mustang continued: “You have to tell Professor Dumbledore if you would like to be referred to as Colonel or Professor Elric and he will discuss the basics with you when you arrive. This is also an intelligence mission, but I guess you already knew that.”

Edward nodded, if this really was just an allegiance mission they would have send someone with more tact and less skill. If Ed was perfectly honest, he was sure that they would have send Hawkeye if it wasn’t for the fact that she wasn’t an alchemist and Mustang couldn’t survive a day without her.

“I do, how many times will I report in and what will I focus on?” Edward replied.

“You will send monthly reports about your findings. We need to know how dangerous these people are and if this magic stuff is legit. If it is, we need to know if we can use it, if it really is limited to certain people and if those people live in Amestris as well. You also need to know if these people are capable of starting a war, what sort of military they have and how fast they can organize. Dive into their history, see how violent it is and how they’ve dealt with things as rebellion or power exchange. Is that clear?”

Edward nodded, if it was anyone but Mustang he would have said ‘Yes, sir’ or ‘Yes, ma’am’, but it was Mustang and Mustang was a bastard who shoved him in a uniform and called him short, so he didn’t deserve that.

Mustang closed his folder and said: “That will be all, go home say goodbye and report back tomorrow at 8 o’clock sharp. A lift will be waiting.”

~

The next day a lady was in, the now, General Mustangs office. She had a but of a sour face and glasses, her brown hair, which was already graying a bit, was tied into a tight bun. She wore a green dress, with actual robes and to complete the cliché she had a pointed hat on her head. She stuck out her hand and with a strange accent she introduced herself: “Good morning Colonel Elric. I am Professor Minerva McGonagall and I am here to take you to Hogwarts.”

He put down his suitcases and shook her hand and told her he was pleased to meet her, he then asked about the means transportation they would use since he hadn’t seen an unknown vehicle outside.

She gave him a smile and said: “We will be using a portkey.” she checked the time, “and we are almost late. I hope you are packed, Colonel Elric, because we must be going.”

Edward held up his suitcases and cheerily said: “Try not to ruin the country while I’m gone, General Bastard! Oh, and tell Colonel Hawkeye I’m sad I missed her. Bye.”

Mustang just rubbed his face and yelled after him: “Just get out before you shrink more than you already have.”

Lucky for Mustang and the first impression they wanted to make on their, hopefully, new allies the door had already shut behind the duo. 

Said duo was now walking outside towards a cane. Edward raised his one of his eyebrows and sceptically asked: “I don’t know if we can both fit on that, ma’am.”

She shot him a sharp look and said: “Colonel Elric, I know you are unfamiliar with our world, but I must ask you to try to be respectful. You may believe what you want, but know not to judge people or things on their looks.”

Edward didn’t know how she did it, but she had struck a nerve. He though of how people had treated Al, just because of the suit of armor and how they looked down on him because of his height and on Winry because of her gender. So, he apologized and made a deal with himself to only judge once he had seen.

She took one of his suitcases and ordered him to grab the cane, he obliged quickly. For a moment nothing happened and Edward almost ran his mouth off again, but he was cut of by a tugging sensation just below his bellybutton and the world started to spin. He felt like he was in the middle of a typhoon and he was clinging trying to not fall off. He heard McGonagall tell him to let go, so he came to the conclusion that she had gone mad and this was where he would perish.

She yelled at him again and he let go. He didn’t want to see the ground just before he splattered on it. He was okay with never seeing his final resting place, so he closed his eyes. For a moment he was weightless, then he crashed down, making full impact with the grass. Blearily he opened his eyes and saw McGonagall slowly walking downwards through the air. He blinked, still the same, he blinked again, still nothing changed, he rubbed his eyes and looked again, McGonagall stood perfectly safe on the ground. 

She must have seen his confusion, because she explained: “It’s always difficult to land when you first travel with a portkey, but you did great.”

Explaining and positive reenforcement, she really was a teacher.

He shrugged the dirt of him and took in his surroundings. He was standing on a field of grass, near them began a forest, there was a cottage close by and some sort of sport arena in the distance, but the most eye catching of all was the gigantic, beautiful, old castle in front of them. He was momentarily awestruck as he just let the view wash over him. 

McGonagall was obviously used to the view and the reaction, because she just smiled with an amused twinkle in her eye and let him take everything in before she said: “Let’s go, Colonel Elric. Professor Dumbledore is waiting on us.”

She lead him to the gates and through corridors lined with paintings or armors. The people in the paintings moved and watched them curiously, some even followed them. It was everything Amestris was not, so he commented: “This is nothing like home, home is more straight lines and harsher colors.”

“Our youngest students are eleven years old, we don’t want to frighten them.” she told him, “You are used to a military base, so I am glad that there is a difference.”

Edward shrugged, that made kind of sense. Everything back home was more military like, but it was much more, it was vibrant cities, small country side villages, miner towns and small lively cities. It all had a newer feel to it, Edward couldn’t explain it.

And at the moment it didn’t matter, because they had arrived at a big statue of some kind of bird. McGonagall said: “Pepper Imps.” 

Edwards eyebrows rose, but he bit on his cheek and didn’t say a thing. He was soon to release his cheek in favor of letting his mouth hang open, because the statue started to rise, creating stairs as it went up. He quickly followed McGonagalls lead and stepped on the stairs.

She knocked on the door and Edward followed her inside, there a man with a strange gray outfit, half-moon glasses and long gray hair and a beard was waiting for them. He stood up with a flourish and said: “Colonel Elric, it is an honor. I am the Headmaster of this fine school, Professor Dumbledore. I welcome you to my staff and I hope you will like it here.”

Eward smiled and shook the mans hand as he answered: “Thank you, sir. It is and honor and Eward is just fine.”

“Very well, then you can call me Albus.” Dumbledore replied, “We have some basic things to discuss and then you are free to explore, I hope you don’t mind me walking you around, showing you your classroom, while we dot the last i’s.”

“Not at all, sir. Show the way.” Edward said, he hoped he was being respectful enough. He had taken some lessons from Hawkeye about basic courtesy and military protocols, he couldn’t stay the young brash kid if he wanted to stay in the military. And he thought he had become quite good at it, it also helped that he was pretty high-ranked, so he almost never had to salute first and most of his commanding officers he knew so well that he didn’t have to salute them.

Dumbledore lead him through the maze of corridors again and started the conversation: “First order of business, would you like me to introduce you as Colonel Elric or would you prefer Professor Elric?”

Edward hot him a glance and said: “Well, I’ve never earned the title of Professor, my brother went back to school, he’s the Professor Elric of us two. I’m afraid I’ve never even finished school, sorry.”

Edward was curious what the Headmasters answer would be. He had read many books about wizard-education, but he’d never found anything about a way to earn a Professors title, yet all the teachers seemed to carry it. Dumbledore had observed him for a moment in which Edward had kept his expression carefully blank. The man then replied: “That won’t be a problem, Edward, it is more a formality here.”

Edward was secretly mad at how easily they threw around the title. In Amestris a title meant a lot, the military was important and ranking was a high priority. Professors were held in high regard and only few had the honor of referring to themselves as such. Edward himself was quite proud of his little brother and would often call him Professor Elric for kicks. He decided not to word any of these thoughts and said: “I hope you won’t be offended if I stick to the title I earned, sir.”

A twinkle of amusement was found in Dumbledores eyes as he said: “Of course not, Colonel.”

They walked on and got to a classroom on the first floor, it was a huge room with a gigantic black board that could expand, there were a few rows with school desks, in the back there was big mat and some benches surrounding it. Edward inspected everything, when he was done he nodded satisfied and said: “It’s perfect, thank you.”

“No problem, though I am quite curious what the mat is for.” Dumbledore said.

Edward smirked: “You must train your body as well as your mind. I don’t expect many of my students to understand that either, most will drop out, probably.”

“You don’t seem to have much faith in them, Edward.” Dumbledore said.

Edward shrugged: “Alchemy training is hard, few of the people in my home country have what it takes to get through the training, although I know it can differ form teacher to teacher. My teacher left me and my brother on a deserted island for one month, before we could even start on Alchemy training. I don’t plan to go so hard on them, but it will be rough and you have to have passion if you want to stay.”

Dumbledore nodded, but didn’t comment. He then showed Edward to his living quarters, which was through a door that was next to the blackboard. It wasn’t a big room, but it had a bed, a desk, a closet and a bookcase with a few books already there. Edward put down his suitcases and said: “Thank you.”

“It really isn’t a problem and I am glad you are interested in our world.” Dumbledore said, with a nod to the books.

It was right that Edward had asked for books about Wizard history and general Wizard knowledge. If he was going to teach there (and spy on them, but shhh), he would need to know all the basics his students would know. He needed to understand references and how some relations came to be. With a big smile he said: “Well, I am a student by heart and there is so much to learn.”

After that Dumbledore explained that the students would arrive the next evening and he would be introduced then. He was free to do as he pleased until then and if he was lost he could ask the paintings for directions, which was completely nuts, but also awesome. If he wanted to write home he could borrow one of the owls, which again, completely nuts, but also kind of cool and more efficient.

When all that was done Edward was left on his own. He plopped down on the bed and decided that the room could use some more decorations (translation: the bed, chair and desk got more skulls and gargoyles). Then he cracked open the first book, deciding that he could unpack later.


	2. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edwards introduction at Hogwarts and his first lesson to the fifth years where he meet some familiar faces

They were sitting at the Gryffindor table when Hermione nudged Rons shoulder and said: “Who’s the little guy with the blue uniform?”

They strained their neck to see. Right at the edge of the table sat a short man, or boy, he was obviously very young, he had his long blond hair in a ponytail and was wearing, what looked like, a blue army uniform, but it wasn’t form a country they recognized.

Harry said: “Maybe the new defense against the dark arts teacher?”

Hermione frowned and commented: “Could be, but who’s the woman in pink then?”

“We don’t know, Hermione.” Ron sighed, “They will be introduced shortly, don’t worry about it.”

She shot him a look, but didn’t say a thing about it. 

They sat through the sorting ceremony and cheered when someone got sorted in Gryffindor. When Dumbledore stood up to give his speech Hermione perked up. He first introduced the lady in pink as Dolores Umbridge, the new DADA teacher and minister. When Harry asked what that meant for them, Hermione answered: “It means the Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts.”

Then she had to go an do that weird speech, leaving everyone a bit out of it. Luckily Dumbledore was quick to recover and went on to introduce the mystery boy in blue. He said: “We also have a new teacher, with a new subject. Alchemy will be taught the year by Colonel Edward Elric, he is from Amestris, so go easy on him with what you consider to be basic knowledge.”

The man stood up, he was indeed quite short, but they could see that he had a lot of muscles when he gave them a short salute. His golden eyes passed over the student body calculating, but he didn’t give a weird speech, so props to him. 

Then food arrived and everyone dug in enthusiastically. Everyone except Hermione, she turned to her friends and said: “Has anyone heard of Amestris? And why would someone from the Army come teach here? And a Colonel, that is a high rank. This year is going to be mental. We got O.W.Ls, the Ministry interfering and a foreign army officer in our mids.”

Ron replied, with his mouth full: “Wasn’t Amestris part of the hidden continent? My dad told me about that, said there was a continent in the middle of the ocean, but it got hidden from muggles and it was enchanted, like the tent last year by the cup. Was supposed to be a safe haven for wizards, but now mostly muggles live there, they just don’t know about the other continents much, I think.”

Hermione gave him a surprised look, which made Ron blush and squirm in his seat a bit. He shrugged and said: “My dad is really good at telling stories.”

Harry look between them, unsure what had just happened. He decided not to comment on it, so instead he said: “Well, I don’t care much for having to call him Colonel, why can’t he just be Professor? Seems a bit pretentious, don’t you think, especially for someone so young. But I don’t think he’s our biggest worry. If the Ministry is interfering they will try to prevent us from preparing to face Voldemort.”

The three shared worried looks and watched Umbridge movements all throughout dinner.

~

Edward looked over the crowd of youngsters, at seventeen years old he himself was the same age as some of the older students, but he couldn’t see it. He had seen too much to be mentally seventeen, these were kids, he wasn’t, he hadn’t been for a long time.

Most of them had given him weird looks when Albus had introduced him as a Colonel, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t used to stares. Besides he could never be as strange as pink toad lady. She had given an entire speech about her and the students being friends or some bullshit like that. Edward could see not a single one of the kids was convinced, far from it actually.

He had also noted that she was from the Ministry, the fact that this was stated extra meant not all the teachers were from the Ministry. He had read in one of the books that the Ministry held little power inside Hogwarts, aside from judging O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts. The fact that they were trying to force their way in with a teacher-Minister was a development, though Edward hadn’t decided if it was good or bad.

The rest of the dinner was pretty uneventful, but the food was delicious and it never seemed to run out. Edward smiled to himself as he though that Ling would love this place.

~

Edward was looking over his class. They were his first class of his first day, the fifth years from all the houses. Quite a few had signed up, but Edward was convinced that his classes would be a lot smaller pretty soon, so he had told them to just put them all in one class. He had given military courses on the Academy and that was a much bigger crowd.

He had been silent for almost a minute now and his class was starting to look a bit nervous, good. He began: “Hello class. I am Edward Elric, but you probably knew that already. You can address me as Elric, Mister Elric, Colonel or Colonel Elric, I don’t really care, but not Professor, you got that. You may think Professor is a given title, but it’s not. Where I am from you need to work to earn a title, so I will not tolerate you giving them out so easily in my classroom. Do you understand?”

They all nodded.

“Good.” he saw a blond kid with his hand up and he said, “You, what’s your name and your question?”

“Draco Malfoy.” the boy answered and Edward didn’t like how he skipped the sir there, but he didn’t bother to correct the kid, “And I was wondering how old you are.”

That got the interest of the entire class. Edward rolled his eyes mentally, but he couldn’t blame them. He had seen the other staff and knew he didn’t look like an experienced teacher whatsoever. They had a right to know, so he dutifully answered: “Seventeen, is that a problem.”

That got some gasps and a few murmurs, but he quickly saw that they were looking at that Draco kid. It was obviously someone who talked back to teachers, so the rest would rely on him to ask the offensive or rude questions they were too scared to ask, while they still got their answers. Draco didn’t disappoint: “You should still be receiving your education. Why would they make you a teacher, or a Colonel for that matter.”

And there it was, he should have lied and given them a lower rank or just Mister to work with, but too little too late. He tried to think of Al chiding him to be polite and not smack the kid, he couldn’t help that he was a dumbass. So he answered: “You should research my country before you apply your rules to me. If you don’t think I am fit to teach you, there is the door. This is for everyone. I am not here to convince you of my skill, I am here to teach you. So you can allow me to do that or you can leave.”

He gave everyone a hard look. Most kids avoided his stare or swallowed harshly, none however moved to pack. “Thought so.” Edward commented, “Now, lets get to learning. Alchemy is not magic, nor a miracle. Alchemy is science.”

And with that he had ruined all of these kids life. He saw a few of the mouth the word science at each other with confusion, they had never heard of it. A few others mouthed the word in horror, like they couldn’t believe science would touch them here in this building.

Edward shook his head, how uneducated could these people be. “I know all of you are here to learn magic, but Alchemy isn’t it. It is a handy skill to have and lucky for you your Ministry counts it as magic, so it is still part of you curriculum. I just wouldn’t call Alchemy magic around some people, me being one of them. If you are uncomfortable with that in any way, shape or form, you can now leave.”

One girl did, she stood up and said: “Sorry, sir, I wanted to drop science so bad in middle school and I am finally free. I cannot do that again.”

Then she was gone, Edward appreciated the guts on that girl. He waited again for a moment, but no one else tried to leave, so he went on with his lesson: “Alchemies first law is basic and all Alchemy follows this rule, so write this down: The first law of Alchemy is that humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. This is what we call equivalent exchange.”

He wrote ‘equivalent exchange’ on the board and underlined it. He looked back at his class and saw fifteen people writing and twenty-three doing nothing, those twenty-three wouldn’t make it to the end of the year. 

He turned back to the board and drew a circle. He then said: “Alchemy is also based in circles, we call these transmutation-circles.” he wrote ‘transmutation-circle’ under the circle, “In the circle we draw a code, with that code you write down what you want to turn into something else. You need to be very careful with that code, because one mistake and your circle will backfire.”

A girl with brown bushy hair stuck her hand up, she had been one of the people that were writing he recalled. He said: “What is your question, miss..?”

“Granger, Hermione Granger.” she said, “What does a backfire look like?”

Edward filed through his memories for a good example, he couldn’t really tell them about his little brother being ripped apart or his teacher losing her guts, literally, but his mind gave him the image of Father Cornello. He decided to use an edited version of it: “I knew a man who wasn’t careful. He tried to turn metal into a gun, but he had written the wrong material down, so when he went to transmute the circle backfired. His arm was suddenly encased and replaced by metal with pipes sticking out. He didn’t bleed, but I could see it hurt him.”

A silence had fallen over that classroom, the air had turned serious. He said: “Which is why we won’t start doing Alchemy until you have trained your body along with your mind. Alchemy isn’t just theory, Alchemy is practice. An Alchemist must be fit in mind and body. Next lesson you will have clothes on or with you in which you can exercise, because we will be sweating.”

Immediately the class was in an uproar. He let them rage for a moment before he bellowed: “SILENCE!” (he had never regretted asking Major Armstrong about the loud voice that the Armstrong family had passed down for generations, because the Armstrongs knew their shit)

They were quiet within the second, once he had asserted that it would stay that way he said: “If you do not agree with my methods you can go, but you won’t learn Alchemy otherwise. There is a reason Alchemist are mostly army men. Besides, you all are lucky with how easy I am going on you. I’m not even half as harsh as my teacher.”

A quiet voice asked: “What did he do then?”

No one, but Edward saw who’d said it, but he decided to not call the boy out. It was too good of a moment to scare them to pass it up, so he said: “When I started learning under her I was ten and my little brother was nine. Before she would teach us we had to survive without Alchemy on Yock Island for a month. That meant no adult, no food, no water, no clean clothes, no bed and no roof and even then she wouldn’t take us unless we answered her riddle correctly.”

“What was the riddle?” that was the Granger girl.

“I will not make a habit of answering questions with me calling on the person who is asking.” He said.

She cast her eyes downwards. Once Edward was sure they all understood he went on: “But since I will be asking you the same, I will answer anyway. “One is All and All is One”, that’s it. If you can’t give me an answer at the end of the month you will not be allowed to follow this class any longer, understand?”

Most nodded, but some were getting ready to protest. Before they could he said: “Before you say a thing about it being unfair, it isn’t. You all have brains, you have resources a ten year old did not, so if you can’t answer you won’t partake in my class. This is the key to understanding Alchemy.”

He looked at them all intently and wished he could be the brash and arrogant fifteen year old again. He had so much hope back then, so much innocence and ignorance. There was no corruption or conspiracy, just a search for an unreachable stone. These kids could never even know, not that he wished that on them, no, no one deserved that. Although he did wish them some wisdom to, because this education system didn’t put emphasis where it should.

Before he could lose himself in though he said: “Dismissed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I make Amestris etc Atlantis?  
Yes, yes I did.
> 
> And I tried with the Alchemy explaination, but me and science aren't really friends...


	3. Interactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry, Ron and Hermoine meet Umbridge.  
Some accusations are made and more mysteries are brought to light

“How was Colonel Elric?” Harry asked when Hermione joined their table.

She frowned and said: “I really don’t know what to make of him, but he is very strange. Did you know he’s seventeen?”

“What? He should be in his seventh year!” Ron exclaimed, “He’s the same age as Fred and George and I know that that is not mature enough to teach.”

“Exactly.” Hermione said, “And he’s not even going to teach us yet. He wants us to train our body before he trains our minds.”

Ron gave her a disgusted look and she snapped: “His words not mine! Anyway, that’s not even the most peculiar thing. He has this riddle, and it’s not even formulated in a riddle-like fashion, but if we don’t have an answer in a month you can’t follow the course. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to teach.”

“What’s the riddle?” Harry asked.

““All is One and One is All”” Hermione told them.

“What does that even mean?” Ron asked out loud.

“That is what we’re supposed to figure out, Ron.” Hermione replied with a sigh.

Ron shot her a dirty look, but didn’t comment. Harry redirected their attention by changing the subject: “We got Umbridge next, I wonder what the Ministry will teach.”

~

Umbridge was Horrible with a capital H. She didn’t want to acknowledge what happened to Cedric and that Voldemort was back. She didn’t believe in preparing them for the real world and she didn’t believe in using wands. Using wands was one of the most important things in DADA. They were at a loss.

Hermione was listening to Harry complain about her and silently agreeing, but her eyes kept wondering to the teachers table. Colonel Elric was sitting next to Professor Umbridge and he didn’t look like he was enjoying it, but to be fair every teacher who sat close to Umbridge wasn’t enjoying it. Yet it seemed like the Alchemist was double annoyed.

He kept shooting her glares and Hermione could see that Umbridge was trying to have a conversation, but Elric was having none of it. He ignored her every time she spoke until her face contorted and she snapped something angrily. His head shot around to look at her and his face got angry. 

It seemed like everyone had noticed what was going on, because the moment he snapped back the entire Great Hall was quiet and everyone could hear the Colonels reply: “No, you stupid ignorant witch, it doesn’t work like that. Bringing someone back from the dead can’t be done with Alchemy and if you suggest that to me one more time no one will find your body. Human transmutation is a taboo and I will not have you accuse me of such things.”

And with that statement he stormed out of the hall.

When he was gone chatter burst out all around them. Hermione quickly completed the puzzle and turned to Ron and Harry, she said: “She is trying to figure out if Voldemort used Alchemy to return and if Colonel Elric is involved, which means they do believe he’s back, but they don’t want to do anything about it.”

It was quiet for a second, but then Ron said: “Fuck!”, which encompassed all their feelings quite nicely.

~

Edward was seething, how dare that bitch accuse him of bring back this ‘You-know-who’ person. He didn’t even know who that dude was, so that name was completely unjust, but apparently he was a bad dude or something, which made it even worse. 

He had spend the last few years making sure no Alchemist or monsters or bad people walked through Amestris. He had sacrificed a normal life for it and now this troll was accusing him of putting thousands of people in danger. And not just accuse him of it, no accusing him of using human transmutation to help. She didn’t know anything, how dare she. Just how dare she.

He kicked hard against a door he was passing. He accidentally used his automail foot and it went right through. He cursed some more and clapped to quickly fix the door. As he did he heard a gasp, so he checked the corridor, one boy was standing there. He recognized him from his fifth year class, the boy who had asked what his teacher had done. He looked pretty scared of Edward, so he used that to snap: “What are you looking at? Scram.”

Which the boy did, very quickly. Edward sighed and rubbed his face. This couldn’t wait a month, Mustang had to hear about this shit. It wasn’t just a one way intelligence mission, they were trying to figure out if Amestris was involved in some war they were having, although the government was apparently denying it.

He sat down at his desk and grabbed a pen, he was glad he had packed those, because trying to combine automail with a feather and ink, no thanks. He started to write:

_Mission report: 3 September_  
_From: Colonel Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist_  
_Commanding officer: General Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist_  
_Mission: Hogwarts allegiance_

_Our intelligence mission is not just one sided. There appears to be a “Dark Wizard” running around and he is apparently very bad, but the government is publicly denying his return. There is a government official appointed as a teacher, Dolores Umbridge, I don’t like her. _  
_She is telling her students this “Dark wizard” isn’t back, but asked me if it was possible to bring someone back from the dead using Alchemy, so she doesn’t believe he is gone herself. She is trying to figure out if we are also helping this “Dark Wizard” guy. _  
_She is even accusing me of personally bringing him back and infiltrating the school._  
_If the seal has been broken this letter has been read._

Edward put away the pen and admired his handiwork. He then sealed the letter with Alchemy, it was a precaution he had invented to prevent spying on classified letters. The seal could only be broken by someone who had seen the gate, so that left Mustang, Al and teacher. 

When he was satisfied he went up to the owl tower and tied his letter to one of the communal owls. This still was way too weird. He watched as the owl left and wondered how much crazier his life was about to become. Tiredly he rubbed his face again and cursed himself for snapping so loudly at that Umbitch. Everyone had heard that, before he knew it the rumors would be flying around. What a shitstorm he had found himself in now. Sighing he sat down and decided, what the Hell, I have owls might as well write Al for a bit of advise. Then he wondered why they didn’t just send his brother on the mission (he knew it was because Al wasn’t in the Army, but that hadn’t stopped Mustang or anyone else before and to be honest Al would have been a much better fit.)

~

Neville was running up to them now. He stopped and asked: “Did someone make Colonel Elric mad?”

“Yeah, Umbridge accused him of bringing someone back from the dead with Alchemy or something. He yelled and stuff, seemed quite upset with the notion, if you ask me.” Ron told him.

“Why do you ask?” Hermione asked, wondering how he could have known if he hadn’t been in the Great Hall when it happened.

Neville shuffled a bit and said: “I saw him angrily kick in a door.”

“What!” the three exclaimed.

Neville flinched and said: “I don’t think he meant to, he was cursing and stomping, he looked really frustrated and upset.”

“Could you show us the door?” Hermione asked.

“No, sorry.” Neville shook his head, “He fixed it right after, I think with Alchemy. It was quite cool.”

“Really!” Hermione said, interest immediately piqued, “How so?”

“Remember how he told us about the circles?” Hermione nodded and Neville went on, “Well, he didn’t use any. He just clapped his hands and touched the door, there was blue lighting and then the door was fixed.”

“Are you sure?” Hermione asked.

Neville nodded enthusiastically. Hermione frowned and bit her lip, then she slowly said: “I wonder why this foreign army official would lie to us and I wonder how powerful Alchemy can become if you train long enough. Lets go to the library, there must be some books about Amestris or Alchemy for that matter! Oh, wasn’t Nicholas Flamel an Alchemist? There must be something in his section.”

Harry and Ron exchanged a suffering look and dejectedly followed after their eager companion. Both thought, goodbye fun outside with the nice weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you agree that Edward showing up would raise suspicioun, not just by the students, but also some government officials!
> 
> And I really tried with keeping Eds young brash personality a bit, despite the fact that he has grown, beause he is still a child.


	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermoine asks her questions after spending some time in the library and Edward has an interesting chat with McGonagall and Umbridge.

“Nothing, there is absolutely nothing on Amestris.” Hermione sighed as she sat down at their table in the library.

“However, I did find some things on Alchemy.” she said as she put down several heavy books that shook the table, simultaneously waking and scaring the crap out of Ron.

“Well, what did you find?” Harry asked.

Hermione said: “What Colonel Elric told us about circles was not a lie, you can find it in any basic Alchemy book, but there is nothing about Alchemy without a circle. That means that he has either incredibly powerful wandless magic or he knows of an Alchemy so rare that it’s not even a footnote. What is also suspicious is that there is nothing about this human transmutation and nowhere in any of these books is Alchemy called a science, it’s referred to as magic everywhere.”

Ron let his head plonk on the table and groaned: “This year sucks. We need to worry about our O.W.Ls and if that wasn’t enough the Ministry has decided to stick in an inside man and on top of that there is a suspicious new teacher about a completely new subject, who also seems to hate magic, which is also strange.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed, but Hermione frowned and asked: “What did you just say?”

Ron gave her a look and said: “That this year sucks?”

“No, I heard that.” she replied, “But what did you say about Colonel Elric hating magic? Why do you think that?”

Ron shrugged uncomfortably and said: “Well, he used witch as an insult and he doesn’t want his subject to be referred to as magic, so I just thought he must hate magic, you know.”

“Oh my god, Ron, that’s brilliant.” Hermione exclaimed, making Ron blush, “He was very strict about it not being magic, how didn’t I think of that?” she was silent for a moment, then she quietly asked: “But why would you want to teach at a magic school if you hate magic?”

~

Edward looked over his class, they were all decked out in work out clothes and they all looked like they rather be anywhere else. Good, he thought as he eyed them some more, here they would find out who was cut out for this. 

“Okay everyone, I want you to find an empty spot and to repeat what I do. We’re going to start with a light warming up.” he yelled.

He himself had also changed out of his normal outfit, which consisted of a long brown coat and a black three piece suit without a suit jacket and with a white shirt and a pair of gloves. ((A/N: What he wears in FMAB when he asks Winry to marry him)) He was now wearing his uniform pants with his old combat boots and a long sleeved T-shirt, plus gloves of course.

He started with some basic exercises that everyone could follow, then he gave them a moment to rest before he ordered them to run laps around the classroom. That was met with a lot of protest, but when he simply replied that they could do it or leave and never come back, they started running.

He kept looking until most of them were on the brink of collapsing. He yelled that they could stop and gave them water to drink. He eyed them sadly and said: “Well, we have a lot of work to do, but I don’t think I can push you a lot more today, so when everyone has gathered his bearings we‘ll do some cooling down stretches.”

He only got a few groans and thumbs-ups in return, but he didn’t blame them. Once a minute had passed a boy groaned: “I hope you realize we’re not the army. I just want to get through school, man, and I can’t afford to drop this subject.”

Edward gave them a grin, he probably thought it was a fun grin, but he did not realize that his face was kind of scary, he had small scars everywhere and his eyes just turned creepy without his consent, so it just looked like he was planning to murder them all. He then said: “Well, then I suggest you toughen up and solve that riddle I gave you, because I’m not teaching kids who won’t be able to handle a transmutation.”

He ignored some of the heavy swallows that followed and started with the cooling down stretches when that was all done he sat down at his desk and said: “I know we’re basically done here, but I’m not allowed to let you go, so just sit down and catch your breath or something.”

Hermione decided that this was her chance to get some information out of her teacher, so she stuck up her hand. When Edward opened his eyes he saw her and nodded to signal it was okay to start talking. She asked: “Sir, I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but I did some research on Alchemy in the library and I couldn’t find anything on Alchemy without a circle even though I heard that someone saw you do it.”

Edward silently cursed that kid in hallway and gave him a look, the boy coward a bit and he couldn’t help but let his gaze soften. The kid had blond hair and a soft face, he reminded him of Al. He then turned his attention back on Hermione and said: “That doesn’t surprise me. It is almost impossible to do, very rare. In the entirety of Amestris only four people can do it, including me.”

Curiosity took over and Hermione asked: “How did you learn to do it?”

A dark expression took over his face, he didn’t like to be reminded of his mistake, it didn’t matter that he’d set it right. His brother had suffered for years because of him, such a thing he couldn’t easily forget. That all didn’t mean that he was going to share it with a group of teenagers who didn’t know him, so he settled on saying: “I made a mistake and I paid dearly. I learned from it.”

Hermione was about to ask more about it, but before she could he cut her off: “If you ask me more about it I will not allow you back into my classroom, is that clear?”

She swallowed thickly and nodded. Then she said: “Sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to upset you, but would it be okay if I asked about something else?”

He wanted to tell her no and to shut up, but he found that he couldn’t. He himself had been in her place, he had done research and only found more questions, he hated when someone didn’t answer him just because, when they could’ve helped him. He wasn’t about to be that person, so with a bit pain he said: “Sure, go ahead.”

“Could you tell me a bit about Amestris, because it doesn’t exists in our library.” she asked.

Edward hadn’t expected that, but he didn’t mind talking about his homeland, no matter how shitty it had been. “Well, if it’s any help, England doesn’t exist in the whole of Amestris libraries and I should I know I’ve been in hundreds.” he said, “But Amestris is landlocked, it was founded in 1550 and it has about 50.000.000 people living in it. It is run by the military and the most powerful man is the Fuhrer, currently we have Fuhrer Grunman, before him we had Furhrer King Bradly. We are not as popular as a whole since we are quite prone to starting wars, but we have been making peace since the coup from last year.”

The gears in Hermiones head were turning as she tried to process all of this information. She asked: “If our countries don’t know each other, why are you here?” 

He supposed that was a fair question that he couldn’t answered, so he told her: “Sorry, but that’s classified. You could ask Albus, see if he’s willing to answer. And would you look at the time, class is over. Dismissed.”

Everyone filled out of the room, Hermione looked like she wanted to stay behind, but Edward had already disappeared. She sighed and followed her classmates.

Once she was also walking away Edward watched her retreating back. She was one curious girl, intelligent, sure, but also curious, way too curious. He had to watch out for her questions, who knows why she wanted that information. 

~

Edward was sitting in the teachers lounge. He hadn’t been all that social since he had arrived and he knew that was bad, Winry would scold him, she would get Al in on it too or Hawkeye, he smiled fondly at the image. So he had decided to go there for a change and talk to the other staff. 

When he got there only two others were there, Umbridge and McGonagall. Since he already had a strong dislike of Umbridge since the dinner fiasco he decided to sit next to McGonagall. She raised one eyebrow at him when he did so. He explained: “I finally got a bit used to the castle and I realized how rude I’ve been, sorry. How has your first week been so far?”

That seemed to amuse her and she answered: “Pretty good so far, although there has been some unrest amongst the students with everything that happened last year.”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask that. What exactly happened last year?” Edward asked.

McGonagall was about to open her mouth to answer when she was interrupted by her colleague. Umbridge said: “Someone lied last year and some papers decided to believe him before doing some looking themselves. They have changed their stand point, but some people just can’t let go.”

Edward gave her an unimpressed look and said: “You know that doesn’t clear anything up, like, at all.”

Next to him McGonagall snorted, Edward was really starting to like her. Umbridge herself gave him an offended look and she said: “Harry Potter claimed You-know-who is back, but he died a long time ago. He speaking utter nonsense.”

McGonagall came to this Harry Potter boys defense: “He saw him, Dolores. He was there when it happened, why would he lie? And it’s not just that or have you forgotten that a student died last year?”

“Whoa, wait a minute hold up.” Edward interrupted their argument, “Someone died last year? At school?”

“Yes, Cedric Diggory. He died during the Triwizard Tournament, but not on school grounds.” McGonagall said.

“What’s the Triwizard Tournament?” Edward asked.

“You really know nothing of this world, do you.” Umbridge said.

Edward shrugged: “That isn’t something new honestly. Before the letter we received at HQ from Albus we had never heard of England and thought wizardry was bullshit, so you can imagine the culture shock.”

Umbridge ignored most of what he had said in favor of saying: “So you really don’t know anything about You-know-who?”

“No!” he exclaimed, “Why do you keep thinking that? I’ve never heard of the guy and his name is super dumb, I don’t know him, he shouldn’t assume that I do. He’s not that big of deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?” McGonagall asked, “Maybe he never reached across the border, but he’s inflicted his fair share of terror here, he lead the Wizarding War.”

“Sorry, still don’t know him.” Edward said, “How was he beaten?”

“By Harry Potter, he’s fifth year here at Hogwarts. The Dark Lord tried to murder him as a baby, but the spell rebound and he was assumed dead.” McGonagall said.

“He is dead, not assumed.” Umbridge corrected.

McGonagall gave her a look, but before they could start arguing Edward said: “This dude failed in killing a baby? Do you know how weak babies are?”

“The spell rebound because Harry was protected.” McGonagall explained.

Edward shrugged: “He relies too much on magic. He could’ve just thrown the baby out of the window. He probably wouldn’t even know what do to when you point a gun at his face or when he finds a bomb in his house, he definitely would lose to someone with a sword and a bit of skill.”

Both were silent and just looked at him, he shuffled a bit and said: “What? Just pointing it out there.”

McGonagall sighed and said: “It’s okay. It just feels wrong to see someone so young think so easily of violence.”

Edward wanted to get so mad, he wanted to yell at them that he wasn’t a kid, hadn’t been for a long time. He had seen much worse, what was one death when you had seen someone try to wipe out an entire country in a day or the survivors of Ishval or the soldiers who hadn’t made it lying in the streets of Central? But he didn’t say any of those things, they didn’t need to know that. He just shrugged and said: “I’m an army man, can’t help it.”

Then he walked away, he had a class to teach and he had to get away from that room. Wizards were so dumb, just so dumb. They relied so much on Magic, because they didn’t have any people who couldn’t use it. If Amestris relied so much on Alchemy they never could’ve gotten where they were.

He rubbed his face again and went over the conversation again. He suddenly realized that McGonagall hadn’t talked about an army or a task force to beat this You-know-who just a baby. They had relied on a baby to beat this evil dude. God, what were they dumb, but it had given him something to look up in the library, the Wizarding War, interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love some feedback, because Edward is a really difficult character to write, because he is mature, but also very childish still.
> 
> Also, I love the headcanon that Ron's pretty intelligent, he just doesn't care for studying.
> 
> And I firmly believe that Wizards are increadibly stupid, so I'm letting Edward voice my frustrations with them, lol.


	5. Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Alchemy class gets smaller and Hermoine questions Ed about his beliefs about magic

“I really don’t get him.” Hermione said frustratedly, “He doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t want to teach us and he doesn’t want to tell us everything about Alchemy, but he also doesn’t want to tell us why. And he has that stupid riddle that I can’t seem to figure out!”

They were in the library again and Hermione had told them what she had learned in Colonels Elric lesson, although it was mostly complaining about being sore. Harry and Ron didn’t really know how to help her and Harry wasn’t sure they should focus on Elric, especially with Umbridge running around. He tried to tell her that: “Hermione, I’m sure Elric is a mystery and all, but maybe Elric will be better than expected, but we already know Umbridge is evil.”

“Ugh, fine, but I will say I told you so if that’s not the case.” Hermione said with a pout, “So far Umbridge has only been giving undeserving detentions and punishments, but she is a Ministry spy and it will get worse, besides all that she isn’t teaching us. We need a way to be taught to defend ourselves.”

And that was that, she didn’t talk about Elric for the three weeks after, except complain about her aching muscles and the riddle, although she stopped with the last one, Harry and Ron figured she had the answer.

~

Edward was looking over his class, it had been a month since his first lesson and there were now sitting thirty eight students in his class that number would soon be down. He put his hands in his sides and said: “In front of you is a piece of paper. You will write what you think ‘All is One and One is All’ means on it. You will not talk with you neighbors or communicate in any other way. When you’re done you will hand your paper in and go back to your spot. You have ten minutes to write your answer down, the time starts now.”

He watched like Hawkeye as they started to write, some knew what they were doing and were quick to give him their piece of paper, other were obviously clueless and just doing something. When he had all their papers he went through the stack and divided it in two stacks. Then he said: “If I call your name stand up. Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Padma Patil, Dean Thomas, Hannah Abbott, ...”

He went on until twelve people were standing, he looked at them all and said: “Congratulations, you get to continue this course. The rest pack your bags, I’m sorry, but you’re not cut out for it.”

There was a bit of commotion as the others left the room. They all watched them leave with mixed emotions. 

When they had all left Edward clapped in his hands to get their attention and said: “Now that’s done, we can get started. First we need to learn how to make a transmutation-circle to do that we need to know the symbols for the different materials. Write this down with me.”

And he started to write down the Alchemical alphabet down on the board, then he went on: “You need to know which elements you can turn into corresponding other elements. A transmutation exists of Comprehension, Deconstruction and Reconstruction, in short CDR. This part is comprehending which material you’re using and what material you can transmute it into.”

~

“We need to do something about Umbridge.” Hermione exclaimed as she went to sit down next to Ron and Harry in the common room. 

“What happened?” Ron asked.

“She’s assigned as High Inquisitor, which means she gets to evaluate the other teachers and make rules. The Ministry is taking over.” Hermione told them.

~

They hadn’t transmuted in class yet, but Hermione had been surprised to learn that Mister Elric, he asked them to call him that, apparently he found Colonel too formal, was a good teacher. He knew what he was talking about and although he liked to lecture them and ask them questions while they were punching things it seemed like he really loved Alchemy. He would sometimes get lost in his explanation, realize what he was doing and tell them to forget the last few minutes, because it would be too advanced. Yet, most of the time they could still follow him, at least a bit, he was great in telling them really complicated things in a very easy way.

He was a chill guy once they had learned to not comment on his height. Draco had once asked him if everyone in Amestris was shorter than here or if it was just Colonel Elric. After which Mister Elric had exploded: “WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULDN’T BE SEEN BY A MAGNIFYING GLASS AND WOULD BE CRUSHED ACCIDENTALLY UNDER SOMEONES BOOT LIKE AN ANT BECAUSE THEY’RE SO LITTLE!”

Hermione had thought that Draco was pretty pale, but that showed that he had the ability to lose some more shades and turn completely white. 

Today had been a normal lesson, a lesson like any other, but Hermione was still curious about why Mister Elric would hate magic and teach at a magic school, it just didn’t make sense. So when they were packing up she stuck her hand in the air and waited until she was called on, then she asked: “Sir, why do you teach at a magic school if you hate magic?”

Everyone fell silent as Mister Elric looked at her and raised both eyebrows, he then asked: “What gave you the impression I hated magic?”

Hermione flushed and repeated what Ron had told her: “Well, you once used witch as an insult and you hate it when people refer to Alchemy as magic, even though it is referred to as magic in all the books and you never use magic, so I guess that I just kind of, assumed.”

Mister Elric though it over and said: “You do have a point, I have a strong dislike for magic. You see, for me magic isn’t fair. You can create things from nothing or into anything without repercussion, this is not the case in Alchemy. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost that is Alchemies first law of equivalent exchange. Magic doesn’t follow this rule, so I don’t trust it, something must be given and it isn’t. I myself have also looked in the library, but I haven’t found why magic works and how. You magic folk just accept that something is given to you, but you never wonder why and what will be asked in return. It is dangerous to rely on magic.”

“But nothing bad happened in centuries and we’ve used magic freely.” Draco said.

“And it probably won’t, but I still wonder if you are just lucky or if someone or something will come and ask for you to pay your dues. A lot of people will have profited and will have been able to use magic freely, but the people who will be there when something bad happens will still have pay for them.” Mister Elric told them.

Hermione frowned and said: “Sir, you just said ‘you magic folk’, why didn’t you include yourself?”

Mister Elric smiled and said: “If I’ve read correctly, I’m what you call a muggle. Now that’s enough questions for today, dismissed.”

The class exploded as people tried to process this information. Draco yelled: “What? Explain or my father will hear about this!”

But Mister Elric didn’t respond, he just gave them all a look and said: “I said, dismissed, in the army that means this conversation is over and you leave.”

Then he casually started packing up his stuff and make his way to the door, once he was there he said: “I need lunch, if you don’t want to get locked in I suggest you move.”

~

“You will never guess what happened during Alchemy.” Hermione exclaimed when she entered the Room of Requirements.

Harry and Ron had just been setting up to practice the Stunning Spell when Hermione had interrupted, they gave her a confused look as she said: “Mister Elric is a muggle.”

“What!” both cried out at the same time.

“I know, but this also means that we can definitively rule him out as one of Voldemorts men.” she informed them happily.

“Are still really on about that?” Ron asked.

Hermione gave him a mean look and said: “I never stopped, I just didn’t discuss it with you two anymore. It’s getting dangerous, Voldemort is back, the Ministry is doing nothing and just last year a Death Eater infiltrated the school! Is it really such a stretch to be wary of new members of staff?”

“I hadn’t thought about that, Hermione, sorry.” Harry sheepishly admitted.

Hermione rolled her eyes and said: “Whatever, let’s just go on with this meeting. We just lost a problem, not gained one. We should be happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feed back, you all are the best!  
I felt like this chapter was a bit choppy and jumped from here to there, but my brain just couldn't find a way to make it better, so this is it


	6. Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Umbridge to witniss an Edward Elric Alchemy lesson!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this is a surprise early update, because my life is shit at the moment and this brings me a bit of joy, so I hope you enjoy it!

The Umbitch was really getting on Edwards nerves. She had been on his trail like a bloodhound ever since he’d shown up. She wanted to know what the limitations of Alchemy where, what he knew about Amestris, if he knew You-know-who and how he taught. She had been aching to get inside his classroom, but so far he had managed to keep her out. It seemed like his luck had ran out, he knew he shouldn’t have told those fifth years he was a muggle, ever since that she had been unrelenting and now the day had come.

“Good morning class, as you can see we have a guest. Why she insists on coming I don’t know, but she is here to disrupt so expect this lesson to be a bit different that usual.” He began.

He nodded at Umbridge before turning back to his students and saying: “We have been studying Alchemic arrays for some time now. This will be the last theoretical lesson before we move on to doing Alchemy in the classroom. When I call on you, you will come forward and draw the array I tell you on this table. I will show it to the class and we’ll collectively decide if it is correct, if it is I will use it to transmute some of the materials I have here.”

“Hermione, could you please draw an array to transmute the rust of this iron dagger?” he asked.

The girl drew the perfect circle, which he knew she would. She was very smart, liked to study and just generally knew her stuff. Once the class had also determined it was the correct transmutation-circle he preformed transmutation. He didn’t do it often, so there were still a few gasps when the rusted iron dagger came out in perfect shape. 

“Okay, next. Neville, could you draw an array to change this heap of chalk into some crayons for the board?” he said.

While the boy was drawing he looked at Umbridge, she was writing on her notepad while mouthing words to herself. It seemed harmless, but he had heard the stories, once she was comfortable in your classroom she would attack you with questions. He didn’t have more time to think about it, because Neville was done drawing.

He showed the array to the class and asked: “Draco, what do you think of Neville's array?”

Draco studied the array, he was like Hermione in academics although he was more of a prick about knowing things, though it was a close call. He had pulled a few stunts in his time in Edwards classroom, but he had also soon realized that without his friends here it was pretty useless to pit everyone against him, so he had quickly learned to shut up and he has been even pleasant after. After he’d studied it for a moment he said: “I can’t find a fault.”

“And you would be correct with that. This array is perfect, well done Neville and Draco.” he said, he was proud of Neville, the boy seemed to struggle a bit and he had made a mistake in the array last lesson, which is why he had asked the boy about it now.

Before he could transmute Umbridge cleared her throat, he shot her an unimpressed look, which she completely ignored. She asked: “Aren’t you going to give point to their houses for their job well done?”

He pretended to think about it then he said: “Are you asking me to take part in a house culture you created to pit students against each other and base their initial judgments upon which causes discrimination on yet another factor within this school and prevents friendships, because honestly I don’t feel the need to. They get praise when they do well and they learn, that is the reward in my classroom. I read the contract, nowhere does it state that I am required to give or take housepoints. Now, can I go on with my lesson or are you planning on interrupting even longer?”

Umbridge stayed quiet and Edward took that as a sign that she wouldn’t interrupt for now and went on. He did the transmutation and put the crayons by the board, he had been running low. Then he said: “Hannah, could you draw a basic array.”

They went through two more arrays before Umbridge felt the need to interrupt again. He had needed something from the table in the corner and he had walked over there to grab it. She said: “I’m curious, Mister Elric. Why don’t you use _accio_?”

“You are not curious, you just want to point out that I am a muggle.” he said with a sigh, “I honestly don’t see the need for you to dance around these things, just ask ‘hey, heard you were a muggle, is that true?’ so much easier and faster.”

She was taken aback by this, but quickly recovered sadly enough. She said: “I don’t see the need for your rudeness, Mister Elric. As a teacher of a magical subject it is quite concerning that you aren’t a wizard yourself. Are you even fit to teach?”

“There are a few things I want to address about that statement. Firstly, I don’t like you, so that will be Colonel Elric to you, secondly, Alchemy is science not magic, I will not be swayed on that point and thirdly, I am capable of doing what I teach, which is more than I can say for you, so I don’t understand the cause for your concern.” Edward told her.

“Colonel Elric, I will not be addressed like that.” she spat.

Edward shrugged: “My classroom, my rules. You don’t want to be addressed like you address me then there is the door. Have a good day.”

“You cannot kick me out, I am the High Inquisitor.” she said offended.

“I know, if it’s any help I call my commanding officer General Bastard, so it’s nothing personal. Or you could think it is, I never really got along with him.” this of course was a lie, he and Roy had become pretty good friends and it was now some kind of friendly nickname, but she didn’t need to know that.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she could gather her bearings, then she said: “I will not be kicked out, Colonel, but I do have a few more questions. How did you become a Colonel at, what was your age again?”

Edward rolled his eyes, ugh, this again, he was getting tired and he just wanted to get her out of his clssroom. 

“Seventeen.” he replied, “And the whole story is a bit long, so I’ll give you the bullet points. I had to provide for me and my brother, so I became a State Alchemist at twelve. The State can be pretty dumb, they were convinced no child could pass their test and therefore an age restriction wasn’t necessary. I passed, being a State-Alchemist gives you a rank as Major. Are you following me so far? Good. I went on missions and discovered a conspiracy then last year we held a coup and overthrew the corrupt government. The then General Grunman came into power, he was the boss of my boss in the east. Everyone who helped with the coup got a big promotion. So, I am indeed a Colonel at seventeen.”

Everybody was quiet, they had expected a lot, but not this. Umbridge looked quite pale, which honestly, was to be expected, she herself was a government official and she was standing in front of a boy who had helped to overthrow his government at sixteen. 

When she had recovered enough she immediately went in for emotional trauma: “Why did you have to provide for you brother at twelve.”

A dark look passed over his face, but he decided what the hell I’m in this hellhole now, might as well make her uncomfortable with my Tragic PastTM. So he said: “Well, it’s not really twelve, bit earlier really. Our dad is out of the picture, my mom died when I was five, but Grandma Pinako took us in. She’s the grandmother of our friend Winry, but her kids are dead too, they died in the Civil War, and she has a shop to run, so she didn’t really have the time or money for three kids. After that we lived with our teacher for a while, but she once she was done teaching us we had to leave. You might have had the luxury of a support system, but don’t assume everyone had.”

It was again quiet in the class. Edward wasn’t a private person per say, you could conclude that after the amount of times he had told people, strangers and friends alike, about his human transmutation back home, but he wasn’t someone who shared a lot without reason or prompting, especially not with his classes. He had learned and these people didn’t know him at all, he was a blank slate. He rather fill it with how awesome he was instead of how sad of a life he had lived.

“Well, was that all? Because you just wasted fifteen minutes of my class. In those fifteen minutes my students could have become a little smarter, broadened your tiny magic minds a bit more, but you just prevented that. Congratulations, you fail as a teacher.” he said.

Umbridge didn’t stay quiet, she protested: “‘Magic minds’ ,as you like to call them, aren’t small. You are generalizing.”

He raised one eyebrow and mustered his best unimpressed look as he said: “I find that hard to believe and I could argue that based on how you think I am incapable because of my age and non-magic background, you are generalizing as well, or I could generalize even more and ask you, if you look at the entire wizarding world, can you tell me how much it would collapse if magic were to suddenly disappear?”

Then he turned back to the board and wrote down CDR under each other before turning back to the class and asking: “Now, who can tell me what these letters stand for and why they are important?”

~

They were dismissed and an unhappy Umbridge walked out of the classroom. Hermione was the last one left and she made her way over to Mister Elrics desk. She bit her lip and said: “I know you don’t like to talk after you’ve dismissed us, but aren’t you worried about losing your job?”

He stopped rummaging in his back to give her a smile. “I’m sorry if I worried you there, but Umbridge is an annoying shit who loves power a bit too much. I know her type, but I also know her limitations. She can try to sack me, but I’ve been send over here to make a bridge between our countries, the Ministry doesn’t want to see me go and besides that, I don’t need this job, it might surprise you, but being a Colonel in a military state pays pretty good. I am planning to donate the money I earn here to some kind of charity and to give it some to friends who need it more than me.”

“Oh, now I feel kind of stupid.” Hermione said with a blush.

“Never feel stupid, you probably hear this a lot, but you are very smart. Alchemy is very hard and so far you are picking it up faster than I hoped. You’re going to see me around, but I do want to give you a bit of wisdom. Don’t doubt yourself and never dumb yourself down, you are picking up Alchemy, do not forget it. You are a wizard and from what I see and hear there is a war coming up, use what you learn, because wizards don’t know what to do when they’re faced with muggle solutions.” Mister Elric looked at her intently.

She nodded that she had understood and said: “When you’re giving wisdom like that it’s hard to remember that you’re just seventeen. My friend has two brothers who are your age, but have half the maturity.”

He laughed and thought, thanks it’s the trauma, but he said: “Yeah, I get that pretty often. Hey, you wouldn’t know a good wizard charity, would you?”

“Well, I am the founder of S.P.E.W., it’s for the freedom of house-elves, you should read about them, it’s horrible how wizards treat them.” Hermione said, “but if you think it’s dumb you could donate to St. Mungo’s, it’s the hospital, they could always use some money.”

“S.P.E.W., I’ll keep it in mind, thanks.” and he smiled at her again, then he said: “It’s getting late you’re going to have to run of you want to be in time for you next lesson.”

She paled a bit and cursed as she bid her goodbye and ran out of the classroom. She had so much to tell Ron and Harry at their next DA meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a wonderful week, no conditions, just positivity
> 
> ~
> 
> I know this might seem a bit oversharing of Ed, but I feel like it kind of realistic with how open about commiting the ultimate taboo he was in the series, so YOLO


	7. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Break! Yay, we all know how it goes with our Golden Trio, but here we see what Ed gets up to on his break, which he spends back home in Risembool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People, I found a way to get Al into the story, it might not be the badass moment you wanted, but at least he's here.

It was almost Christmas break and the fifth year Alchemy class filtered into the classroom. Most could now make an element different shapes, but all struggled with changing elements. 

They were waiting for Mister Elric, which was strange, because the man was usually on time and already waiting for them, even when they had him first in the morning. When asked about it he told them he did exercises before breakfast, which everyone found horrifying.

They heard a curse coming from Mister Elrics room and the a thunk against the door that was followed by another curse. The class exchanged some looks and in the end it was Dean who was brave enough to walk to the door and knock. He said: “Mister Elric, are you there? Do you need help?”

“Oh, you’re already there?” came Mister Elrics surprised reply, then he said, “Can you open the door for me, my hand’s full.”

“Uh, sure, no problem.” Dean said, as he turned to give the class a confused look, it was mirrored right back at him.

He opened the door and there Mister Elric was. He had discarded his usual vest and shirt for a plain black T-shirt. In his left hand he held a big box, but his right, his right arm was gone. He put the box on the table and some of the students shrieked. He looked at them with wide startled eyes and asked: “What’s wrong?”

Neville squeaked: “Sir, your right arm is gone.”

He looked at his right arm and said: “Yeah, so?”

“That’s not natural, sir.” Dean exclaimed, “Did you go to Madam Pomfrey? Are you cleared? What happened?”

A look of comprehension crossed over his face and it was soon exchanged for apologetic. He said: “Sorry about that, I forgot you guys didn’t know, everyone back home knows. I haven’t had a right arm since I was eleven. It’s totally fine, I have automail. I already wrote my mechanic, so I should get a new arm when I go home over the holidays.”

Hermione raised her hand before saying: “How did you lose it again? And what’s automail?”

“Oh, did you guys know that your forest has gigantic aggressive spiders that want to eat you?” he said.

And that was Nevilles cue to faint, he had already been looking quite unwell since Mister Elrics appearance without an arm. Mister Elric rushed forward and checked him over. “Nothing is wrong, he’s fine.” he then grabbed his coat and used it as a pillow for the boy as he laid him in a more comfortable position.

He was sure he would wake up soon, so he just let him be. He then turned back to the class and asked: “Does no one here know what automail is?”

He got a negative back from the class and looked surprised. “What do you do then when someone loses a limb?”

“Uhm, a prosthetic made of wood or plastic. Kind of hard to move with from what I heard.” Dean told him.

“That seems useless.” Mister Elric said, “Well, since Winry would murder me if I didn’t educate you on automail I will tell you a bit about it. It’s a mechanical replacement for your limbs, you’ll get a port inserted in your flesh and with that you new automail limb will be connected to your nerves. You don’t need a outside power source, since it’s powered by the electric pulses your body gives off to operate it. Although it is painful to get it installed and it’s heavy and hard to get used to, it’s almost like getting your limb back.”

“What does it look like?” Draco said and he quickly added, “If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, I don’t mind. Winry is the best mechanic in the world. If you’re ever in need of a limb go to the Rockbell Prosthetic Limb Outfitters! I can show you my leg, it’s more intact than the arm at the moment.” He grinned at his own comment.

The rest of the class was trying to comprehend that Mister Elric wasn’t just missing an arm, but also a leg and that he had been out in the forbidden forest and he had apparently fought spiders and lost his arm again. 

Mister Elric himself meanwhile had stripped of his left boot and was currently rolling up his trouser leg. Under it wasn’t normal flesh like they had expected, but an intricate machine of metal and wires that formed a leg, with feet and even toes. Mister Elric proudly held up his leg and wiggled his toes. In that moment he looked more like a seventeen year old than he had this whole year. 

When everyone had seen his leg he put his boot back on without tying his laces. Then he turned serious again and said: “Well, that’s enough excitement for one day, don’t you think? Let’s go back to transmuting one element into another.”

He could have predicted the rumors that spread after, especially when he just casually showed up to the Great Hall with one arm to eat lunch and later dinner.

But Hermione soon forgot everything about that, because her Christmas turned quite hectic when Mister Weasley is bitten by a snake and rushed to St. Mungo’s in critical condition.

~

“Could you hurry up?”

“I would if you’d just stay still, Ed.” Winry replied, “How did you even lose your arm again?”

“It’s not my fault no one told me the forest was forbidden and it had gigantic man-eating spiders in it.” Ed huffed, before he was cut of by pain from his shoulder.

Winry made a face as she moved on to the next nerve to reconnect. “Iew” she said, “Do those really exists?”

“It’s probably called forbidden for a reason, brother.” Al commented as he passed on his way to the kitchen.

“Shut up, Al. Apparently they’re only found in that forest, but yeah. They’re real.” Ed said through gritted teeth.

“Winry wiped her hands on her pants and said: “Well, I’m done. Try not to ruin my beautiful automail again.”

“I will don’t worry, sheesh.” Ed waved her away.

She gave him a concerned look and asked: “Are you really okay there? You must miss home.”

He shrugged and said: “I do, but it’s good for me, I think. I like teaching a lot more than I anticipated, but I do wonder how they got so far with how little they know and understand.”

“Just because you’re a genius, doesn’t mean everyone else is dumb, brother.” Al called from the kitchen door as he came in carrying some tea.

Edward gratefully excepted and smiled as his brother took a cup as well, it was great to see Al drink again. Then he replied to his brother: “Not just that, they think Alchemy is magic, which is disgusting, honestly. Besides that, they don’t even know what automail is, how can they live without it?”

Winry gasped: “They don’t know automail?”

“Yeah, they don’t. Everyone was completely horrified when I showed up without an arm that last week. I had to explain automail, I don’t even know much about automail!” he said, horrified for her sake, which she appreciated. 

“Hopefully, you didn’t give me a bad name.” she accused, playfully, but with a serious undertone.

He raised his hand in surrender and said: “I didn’t I swear, please don’t pick up your wrench.”

“Okay, I believe you.” she laughed, and she honestly did. When she had been introduced to people Ed and Al had met over their journey almost all had recognized her as ‘that great mechanic he’d talked about’, he had been out there fighting for his life, but still giving her a good name.

When it had quieted down a bit Al asked: “When are you going to central to give General Mustang your report?”

“Well, since he’s coming over for Winter Fest anyway, he told me that I didn’t have to come all the way to Central Command, but I could tell him all after or during dinner.” Ed told them.

“Really, brother, that’s great!” Al exclaimed.

“Yeah, it is.” he said, “Hey, did Ling and Mei respond if they’re coming and has teacher told you which train they’re taking?”

“No not yet, but she did say she would come early and I didn’t hear from Ling, but Heinkel and Darius are coming and Mei said she’ll be here as well.” Al informed him.

“That’s great! When are we going shopping? I know we’re going to need a lot of food.” Ed said with a smile. 

It really was great that those two had met so many amazing friends over the years and that they were all willing to come and spend the Winter Fest in such a small town as Risembool. 

~

There had been a lot of commotion and a lot of days spend in the kitchen, but in the end everyone was sitting peacefully around the table. They were with fifteen people total: Edward, Alphonse, she herself and Granny, Heinkel and Darius, Mei, Havoc, Breda, Kain, Falman, Hawkeye and Mustang and Izumi with Sig. Ling had send his and Lan Fans apologies, but they were too busy in Xing and couldn’t make it.

All were eating and laughing with each other and it reminded Winry of how different it used to be when Ed and Al were still looking for a way to get their bodies back. Just two years ago she had spend the Fest with only Grandma and an empty table. So much had changed.

The next morning they said goodbye to most of their guests and just Mustang and Hawkeye remained. 

~

They were sitting comfortably by the fire. It was already evening and they were drinking tea to calm their stomaches, which were filled with the leftovers from yesterdays Fest. Finally Mustang leaned back and said: “So, Fullmetal, how have the Wizards been treating you?”

Edward shrugged and said: “Pretty good, but man are they incompetent. There is this Dark Wizard dude, who named himself Voldemort, don’t ask, but no one says his name, cause they’re scared so they just call him You-know-who, which is really confusing if you don’t know. Anyway, he’s been gathering followers in the shadows, from what I gathered and he wants to restart a war a baby ended years ago. It’s really confusing, but this baby was apparently protected, because magic. The Ministry, aka the government, is denying he exists.”

“That sounds confusing.” Mustang said.

“It is, but I feel like you’re still following me. I explained it better in the letters.” Edward replied with a shrug.

“Yeah, you did. You also complained a lot about this Umbridge person, who you creatively refer to as Umbitch, which I have to correct in each report.” Mustang said sufferingly.

Edward grinned at that and said: “Must suck to be you, General Bastard.”

After that Edward just laid down the facts efficiently. If there were magic folks in Amestris they wouldn’t know and it wouldn’t fall under Hogwarts. Magic was dangerous, it didn’t abide the rules of Alchemy and you could kill with a word. Wizards themselves weren’t so dangerous, they didn’t have an army of any other form of violent task force, just Aurors, but those were more police not men of war. They had cut down violently on rebellions in the past, but only by those they considered less, which was quite a list that Edward didn’t agree with. He had also read up on house-elves at Hermione's recommendation and he had been horrified. 

In the end Mustang concluded: “So and allegiance would be useful just because of how powerful magic is, but the people themselves or on the brink of war and not that competent.”

“If I’m honest,” Edward said, “we should probably wait with an allegiance, if we ever make one, until they’re done with their fight. We are just starting to make peace and the last thing we need is to be sucked into a war we’re not a part of. I’m willing to finish this year and to see how it goes, but I feel like there isn’t all that much more to discover there.”

Winry looked at them from the door, she often missed the brash teenager and confident child. She especially did when he was being so seriously, talking strategies for war and politics. He had tried the easy country life, she knew he’d tried. He had been here while Alphonse got back on his feet, literally, and helped around in the shop, but they both realized this wasn’t for him.

He wasn’t made to for this life, he was made for adventure and trying to fix the mistakes he knew his country had made. She knew that, she also knew that Alphonse wouldn’t stay forever. He was almost as good as new and she had seen him look at maps and read the Alkahestry books Mei send him. He wanted to explore as well.

She also knew Granny wouldn’t live forever and she herself was making plans of leaving. She would start her own shop in Rush Valley, take Granny with her, so that she could have a normal retirement. 

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when she saw her old friend sitting down talking with one of the biggest name in the Military. She often forgot Colonel Elric in favor of seeing Ed, but sometimes it was unavoidable.

She sighed some more and turned to make some more tea. Eds break wasn’t over yet, she had time to get used to the idea of an emptier house again with mail tied to an owl and short phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I firmly believe that Ed could never settle down, not really. He's not made for an easy life, even though he more than earned it.  
Sorry if it seemed like I skipped over a bit of explaination in the exchange between Roy and Ed, but it seemed kind of useless to explain the plot of Harry Potter, since you all probably wouldn't be here if you didn't know what it was about XP


	8. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed meets the DA and the end of the year fight is set in motions, but with a few communication tweaks from yours truely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!  
Only two chapters left after this one, wow, it's going so fast and I'm mega grateful for all the support so far <3

After Edward returned to Hogwarts time passed in a bit of a blur. His student were getting better and better at Alchemy, some are even fast enough to throw up a wall in the middle of fighting. He did get kind of busy against the end of the school year. He had exams, O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts to make and Umbridge to avoid. He didn't know what her problem was, but he did know she wanted to ask him about something Alchemy related and he’s not in the mood to answer her.

It’s about a month before the exams begin that Hermione approached him after class and asks him if she can ask him something without him running to Umbridge. Without missing a beat, he told her: “I hate her, stupid Umbitch. Ask away.”

She actually snorted at the name Umbitch, then she said: “We’ve been holding these meetings, about Defense Against the Dark Arts, because Umbridge isn’t teaching us and I was thinking about what you said and I was hoping you could stop by and give us some hand to hand combat training or even just strategy training, since you’re military and all. You don’t have to, just don’t tell anyone.”

He just laughs and said: “That’s amazing. A rebellion in the hole of the lion, she’d never expect that. I’d love to come, but you must not tell me a lot of details. The more I know the more dangerous it is. Just tell me when and where to meet you and I’ll see you there, okay?”

Hermoine smiled: “Of course, sir.”

Then she wrote something down on a piece of paper before giving it to him and running of. He watched her go and shook his head, kids these days were crazy. Then he realized he was one of these kids and he had done some crazy stuff so it shouldn’t come as a surprise.

~

“Hi, I’m Harry. Harry Potter.” the black haired boy said as he shook Edwards hand.

Edward nodded and said: “Oh, yeah, I heard of you. Still kind of dumb of Voldemort to kill you with a spell to be honest. Just dropping you out of the window would be more effective.”

If the boy had expected anything it wasn’t that, but he didn’t seem to mind. He looked around and saw a mirror with a note on it, it read ‘Dumbledore’s Army’. He looked back at Harry and said: “You want to be an army leader?”

He shook his head: “No, sir, but no one is taking Voldemort seriously, so we have to.”

“Yeah, adults are pretty stupid, but I have to say Wizard Adults take the cake.” Edward answered.

The rest of the DA had been following their interaction closely, so Edward didn’t have to do much to get their attention. He just turned to them and said: “You are training here to fight. In a fight the key to success is knowing the weakness of your enemy. You are planning to fight Voldemort from what I hear, so what is his weakness?”

A girl with ginger hair said: “He doesn’t have any, he’s one of the most powerful wizards there are. He’s only afraid of Dumbledore.”

He snapped his finger and pointed at her: “You have just told me two weaknesses.”

He got some confused looks back, so he explained: “You said he’s afraid of Dumbledore, try to get him there when you fight. You also said he’s a powerful wizard. The better you are at something, the more you rely on it.”

Still not everyone understood him. He went on: “If you fight him with something other than magic he won’t know how to respond. Tell me, what is a spell you know to stop a bullet?”

It stayed quiet, but they did give each other some looks. “How would you stop a spear coming at you? Would you know what to do if someone came at you with a knife? If you can make a sudden wall appear how would that change the fight? It would block a spell, give you cover and hide you from view.” 

Everyone was starting to understand where he was going with this. He said: “Try to think outside the magic box you’ve created. I see some of my students, they’ve had hand-to-hand combat training and they know Alchemy. From what I see, you guys are way behind on Alchemy. He won’t know how to counter it.”

He saw Dean raise his hand, he smiled as he saw that he trained his kids right. When he acknowledged him he asked: “How can we ever hope to contact Dumbledore quickly?”

“For Gods sake, someone give him a phone. What have you wizards got against them? I got a phone in my office, just use a damn phone!” he said.

“I don’t think he knows how to use a phone.” Harry said.

“That is a good argument, think of something else, something or someone that can move quickly.” he already had an answer, but he wasn’t going to spell everything out for them, so he just gave Hermione a telling look.

She frowned for a second, then her face cleared up as she said: “We could ask one of the house-elves to deliver a message to him. I know them, because of my work with S.P.E.W.!”

Edward gave her a smile and a thumbs-up. She grinned back and he saw a ginger boy glaring at him from behind her. He rolled his eyes and shrugged, he wasn’t after Hermione, he thought Winry and he had something going on, maybe. He didn’t want to push, not after everything she endured for him and Al.

“See, you all don’t even need me and it is dangerous for me to know shit. Umbridge has her ways and I don’t want to tell her anything, but I have no way to counter sneaky magic. It’s better if I know little.” he said, “I can write down my number, call me if you all decide to do something stupid. And listen to what I just told you.”

He scribbled his number down and gave it to Harry. He said: “I know what they tell you, but you are a kid, it’s okay to not listen to grown-ups when they tell you to be an instrument of war. I sold myself as a dog to the military when I was twelve. I never was kid and I never will be, but you still can. You don’t have to sacrifice that, alright?”

Harry muttered a thanks, it was obvious he didn’t know what to do with Edwards statement. It pained him to know that this boy didn’t know anything else besides playing a part in Voldemorts defeat. After that he said goodbye and quietly slipped into the corridor.

~

Harry was turning the cellphone Fred and George had gotten him in his hands. He only had one number saved on it, Mister Elrics. He thought back on what he had told him when he came by the DA meeting. 

It seemed preposterous to even think about not fighting Voldemort, but the more he thought about it the more appeal it got. He would just get to focus on learning, playing quidditch and laughing with friends. He could go live with Sirius and do dumb shit with him, stuff he had always wanted to do with some sort of father-figure when he was younger, like eating a lot of ice-cream on his birthday, just because. He wouldn’t have to worry about the entire Wizarding world, even though everyone seemed convinced he had to save them all, be a hero. He was Harry, just Harry. So, why did he have to carry that responsibility?

He twirled the phone again, then he put it away in his trunk, then decided it would be better to carry it, so he slipped it into the pocket of his school pants. He would worry about that later.

~

He didn’t have time to think, because everything went to shit. The DA was discovered, Dumbledore disappeared, Hagrid had to escape barely getting away while Professor McGonagall had to be taken to St. Mungo’s and on top of that he has his O.W.Ls. It’s all a bit much and before he could talk about all this with a rational adult, like Mister Elric, he got this dream. Sirius was in danger.

He tried to be rational, but Sirius wasn’t there when he’d tried to contact him through the Floo Network and he didn't know if Snape had understood his message. Then he’s in the forest and Umbridge was getting kidnapped by centaurs. And Grawp was there and it’s chaos, but he and Hermione managed to escape.

Before he knew it he’s in the air on a Thestral and they are on their way to the Ministry. He knew that they needed to contact an adult, a trustworthy adult, who knew what to do. He wondered how, but then he remembered the phone in his pocket, he could call Mister Elric.

The phone rang twice before he heard: “This is Colonel Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, speaking. Who is calling a government line?”

It sounded mechanical, like he has said it a hundred times before, Harry thought that it was quite funny, but he had more things to worry about. Panicked he said into the phone: “It’s Harry, sir. I don’t know what- it all happened so soon and we’re, we’re- uhm, I’m on, uhm.”

“Just speak clearly, what happened, where are you and where are you going?” Mister Elric ordered.

It helped and Harry replied: “We’re on our way to the Ministry, I think my godfather, Sirius, is in danger. Voldemort has him. We’re currently in the air. Umbridge found us in her office, we were trying to contact him.”

Mister Elric cursed, but stayed level headed, which Harry appreciated. He said: “Just keep going, find out what’s happening. I’ll meet you there, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry replied.

The phone beeped, Mister Elric was gone and they were flying to danger. Harry wondered why this always happened to him.

~

Edward didn’t know how those kids managed to get into this shit, but he did know he had to help them. He knew he wouldn’t get there on time by car, hell he didn’t even know where the Ministry was. He went through his colleagues and tried to figure out who could help him, none stuck out.

Then he remembered the house-elves, they had become quite close, especially since Edward found out where the kitchen was. He made odd hours, so it was nice that he could just come in and get a bit of food. They also knew a lot and were happy to talk to him about their knowledge which had been handy when he was trying to figure out the Wizarding World.

He started running like a madman. He was sprinting through the hallways without any regard for people and the layout of the school. He was pushing people out of the way and creating doorways where necessary. He skidded to a halt in front of the painting and tickled the stupid pear. The door flung open and he quickly ran inside.

He startled a bunch of house-elves when he stormed inside. One named Kraddy he knew best and luckily for him he was right by the door. He knelt and said: “I need you help, you have to take me to the Ministry and I need someone to get a message to Dumbledore.”

Krabby looked back with eyes as big as plates and said: “Uhm, I might be able to take you to the Ministry, but we don’t know where Dumbledore is, but an owl might be able to find him.”

“That’s great! Do you have some paper and a pen?” Edward said.

Soon he was sitting at a table trying to write Dumbledore a message with a feather and some ink. He hoped it was a bit legible, but he didn’t have time to do it over. He gave the letter to another elf named Dobby and thanked him again, before turning to Krabby and letting the elf whisk him away.

After a vomit inducing experience Edward never wanted to repeat again they were in central London next to a red phone booth. He gave Krabby a questioning look, but the elf just ushered him into the booth and told him it was the visitors entrance to the Ministry.

Krabby fiddled with the phone a bit and then they slowly started to decent, emphasis on slowly. Edward was urging the booth to move faster with a bit creative language. After what seemed an eternity they touched down, he sped out of the booth, but changed his mind and turned around. 

“Go back to Hogwarts, Krabby. It’s dangerous here.” he said, when Krabby nodded that he understood Edward ran, he had a group of idiots to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit jumping in time, but this is a bit of an interlude chapter wich is a set-up for the final showdown.  
Next chapter Ed will finally meet this ill-named 'You-know-who' guy, which will be an interesting experience for both, so you can look forward to that!
> 
> Oh, the reason that Ed doesn't want to know much about the DA is because he knows how important secrecy is. If he can't even point out 5 people by name that would be with the DA then it's less likely that he would slip up and let Umbridge know something was up and Ed knows about it.


	9. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final showdown between our heroes and snakeface

It was a trap, of course it had been a trap, Hermione thought as they were running from the Death Eaters through the halls with prophecies. She had warned Harry, but he just had to run to save Sirius, his godfather and only family member he had left, okay, so maybe he had a good reason, but still.

She felt herself get captured and she tried to fight it of, but it wasn’t working. Mister Elric hadn’t taught them how to fight while in the air and captured from behind. She came by in the room with the veil thing in the middle. Everyone was captured and Lucius Malfoy was demanding the prophecy.

Then light filled the room and people appeared, it was the Order! They had come, it wasn’t hopeless. There was a fight and it all kind of happened in a blur, but she was pleased to say that Death Eaters indeed didn’t know what to do with a punch in the face. It seemed to be going okay until she heard Bellatrix Lestrange yell a curse.

She saw where it was going and acted on instinct. She drew an array she had learned in Alchemy and imagined a wall raising and protecting Sirius.

It all happened in slow motion, there was lightning that illumined the room, stone started to crawl up and Sirius turned around to see a red light coming at him, his eyes widened and he let himself fall to the ground. The red light chipped the upper part of the newly formed stone wall, but no one got hurt. 

It stayed quiet for a second, then the fighting resumed, Hermione got swept away, but she thought she saw Harry angrily chasing after Bellatrix while yelling something about trying to hurt Sirius, while the man in question got swept away in a duel. She didn’t have time to over-think it, because of all the spells and curses that were flying around.

~

Edward was still trying to find the fight by throwing every door open when the fight found him. A strange and probably crazy lady appeared with an angry Harry right behind her. He’s yelling at her about trying to kill his only family and Edward quickly hid behind a fire place, surprise is the best tactic.

He watched for a second and saw how the crazy lady was trying to convince Harry to hurt her, he took that as his cue to appear behind her. Harry saw him, but he didn’t say a thing when Edward motioned for him to be quiet and shook his head. The crazy lady grinned and someone else appeared, he was very ugly and strange, he reminded Edward of a snake and he wondered if the guy was a chimera. 

He vaguely heard Harry say Voldemort, but he wasn’t really paying attention, because the crazy lady was getting away. She hadn’t seen him yet, so he took her by surprise as he hit her over the head with his metal hand. She was out cold in a second.

Meanwhile Harry was hurting, so Edward did what he thought was the logical next step and jumped into the fray. He did that by swiping Voldies legs from under him, making the guy eat dirt. This broke his bond with Harry and the teen fell to the ground, it also made Voldemort focus on him. Good, Edward thought, get your ugly eyes on me, because I’m the danger now.

~

Harry blinked a few times. He didn’t know what just happened, but he was hurting and now he wasn’t anymore. He saw bright flashes of light and heard loud crashes, so he made himself turn his head towards the source.

Mister Elric was fighting Voldemort. He had always been short, kind of scary, but not that impressive and kind of a dork with a big coat. Now, however, that was all gone and Harry realized why he was also Colonel Elric. He looked like a badass.

He was making walls appear and disappear as he blocked and dodged Voldemorts curses. He kept moving and was never a good target. Harry could see the Dark Lord struggling to keep up with the Alchemist, who made grabs at him for time to time with his fist or gigantic stone hands.

But Harry could also see that though Voldemort wasn’t winning, he wasn’t losing either. Hermione had told him that Alchemy was a straining activity and that you had to build muscle to use it. Mister Elric was ripped, sure, but he was starting to sweat and he was running out of breath. Voldemort had the luxury of mostly standing in one place, Mister Elric hadn’t.

Harry was looking for a way to help when Dumbledore appeared, he had never been more grateful for Dumbledore than in that moment. Mister Elric must have seen him as well, because he grinned and yelled: “Hey, snakeface, looks like your old friend is here.”

Then he jumped away and let Dumbledore take over the fighting while he ran to Harry.

~

Edward ran over to Harry, he dropped down and asked: “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Harry shook his head and Edward let out a relieved sigh, he then looked back to the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort. Dumbledore was winning, but Edward saw that Voldemort could get away the moment Dumbledore made a mistake and that was getting more likely by the second. He gave Harry a serious look and said: “Are you willing to do something completely crazy that might end this?”

Harry swallowed and looked back on Voldemort choking on water. He thought about the fantasy of being just a normal kid and made up his mind as he nodded. Edward gave him a grin and pulled out a gun from the back of his belt. Harry paled a bit, but Edward didn’t seem to notice. He said: “Dumbledore is good, but it’s magic, Voldemort knows how to deal with it, he will run the moment he can, do you understand?”

Harry nodded again, he didn’t really but he got the gist. 

“Good,” Edward said, “I need you to prevent that. Go hang around his waist, pin his arms to his sides, make sure he can’t run and he doesn’t have to room to do magic. But don’t, under any circumstance, go higher than his waist. I’m going to shoot him, but I can’t do that if I might hit you, okay?”

“Okay, let’s go.” Harry answered with a determined face.

Edward gave the signal and they were off. Edward was providing cover for Harry while Dumbledore created a great distraction. When Harry was close, he jumped and landed on Voldemort. They tumbled to the ground. A fight arose and both parties were trying to pin the other down. Edward saw this wasn’t going anywhere, so he sprinted to the duo and yelled: “Harry get down, close your eyes!”

So of course Harry didn’t. He let himself get flipped under Voldemort and pushed the man up and away from him as he closed his eyes. Voldemort was trying to choke him, but Harry was doing the same. Voldemorts head was a perfect target.

Edward stopped, knelt and aimed, then he pulled the trigger as he hoped that Hawkeyes lessons had paid off. A loud bang echoed trough the hall and Voldemort turned his face to the sound, just in time to see the bullet.

Right as it went through Voldemorts face people started appearing around them, all shocked at Voldemort and the blood surrounding him. Edward didn’t pay them any attention, he just made his way over to Harry.

He rolled the body of him and helped him to an upright position. There was blood on his face and bruises started to appear on his neck, but he was otherwise completely fine, except for maybe emotional trauma. He looked at Edward and asked him with a small voice: “Is it over? Is he gone?”

Edward smiled and said: “Yeah, it’s over. Unless he has some sneaky shit he’s hiding.” he turned to Dumbledore, “You wouldn’t know anything, would you.”

The man had the nerve to look him straight in the eye as he told them about the prophecy and the probable existence of Horcruxes. Edward mentally screamed and rubbed his temples, then in the most ‘I-am-pretending-to-be-relaxed-but-I-am-mentally-murdering-you’ voice he said: “So, your plan was to send a child after a known mass-murderer. In the hope he would, what, hm, kill him? How stupid, because of some sort of shit prophecy? You were willing to fuck up a child who had done nothing but exist. I can’t believe you! Anyway, he’s dead, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“But it must be by Harrys hand.” Dumbledore argued.

“Yeah, it happened by his hand. He was holding him in the air, while I shot him. It was by his hand, prophecies don’t always mean what you think, don’t try to pretend you know better.” Edward scoffed.

One plump man broke up their conversation by asking: “Is that really him? Was he really back?”

“Yes, Minister, I am afraid he was.” Dumbledore replied.

“But he’s gone now, you just need to send your best men after these Horcruxes and after those Death Eaters that are still out there, but otherwise, he’s gone.” Edward elaborated.

“Goodness gracious,” the plump man said, “I must thank you, …?”

“Elric, Colonel Edward Elric or the Fullmetal Alchemist. I don’t really care. I was send here by Amestris.” Edward told him, “You are the Minister, right?”

“Ah, yes, Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic.” the man said, “Thank you Colonel Elric for you help here today.”

“It really wasn’t a problem and you can’t forget Harry and his friends, they helped more than I did.” Edward said.

“Still, how can I thank you.” the Minister asked.

An evil grin swept over Edwards features as he answered: “You can punish, Umbridge. I don’t know where she is, but she is evil and a child abuser. Lock her up somewhere and never let her near kids again, please.”

“A child abuser? How outrageous.” Fudge cried.

“Harry, show this nice man your hand.” Edward said and Harry complied, Fudge gasped when he saw the wound and Edward asked: “How’s that for outrageous?”

After that he let Dumbledore take Harry away from the scene as he went to find his students and their friends. He wanted them to avoid the media party that was happening outside, they didn’t need that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention that I think Dumbledore made a pretty shit descion about Harry and how he was raised? Or that I think Sirus should live? Because I do.
> 
> Most of my work is pretty dialog based, so this was a nice challenge for me. I hoped you all enjoyed it!  
After this only one more chapter to wrap things up, I'm actually kinda sad to see it finished, but I am very happy with how it turned out and how people like it <3


	10. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward says his final goodbyes to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, my only friend the end

He found them talking to a bunch of adults with Death Eater unconscious and tied down around them. He was then quickly introduced to the Order by an excited Hermione, who then told him enthusiastically about how she saved Sirius’ life using Alchemy. The man in question thanked him for teaching Hermione so that he could live to see another day.

Edward waved it away and told them about what happened outside while they were still fighting the Death Eaters here. He got some perplexed looks when he told them he’d shot Voldemort in the face. They looked like they didn’t believe him so he showed them the gun and said: “You can go look at the body, but you’ll be swarmed by media there, so do it at your own risk.”

“The media? And you left Harry there?” Sirius said outraged, it was nice to know the man cared so much about his godson. 

“No, Dumbledore took him back to Hogwarts, I think.” Edward replied, “And we should go back to Hogwarts too, you guys have a lot of explaining to do. What were you thinking? Sneaking off to the Ministry like that, you guys are lucky I gave Harry my phone number and he had the mind to use it or this could have had a whole other ending, for example your dead bodies lying on the ground.”

He looked at the students, who all shuffled in their place uncomfortably. When he was certain they had understood how careless they had been, he crossed his arms and said: “You are lucky I don’t do house-point, because you would have lost a lot otherwise. Now show me how you got here.”

Dejectedly the kids showed him to an exit where a few black bony horses with wings were waiting. Edward looked at them in wonder and asked: “What are those?”

A girl with light blond hair dreamily said: “They’re Thestrals, you can only see them once you’ve seen death.”

“Great.” Edward said under his breath.

“Who did you see?” the girl asked.

He could feel the looks of the others and he sighed: “Who haven’t I seen?” 

He’d gotten a far away look in his eye as he thought of everyone who had died. He remembered all of their faces with life, fighting spirit then looking at nothing, no fire in their eyes. It just was unfair that after all his sins he was still alive, but mom wasn’t. How could it be that there would be no one to see Elicia grow older. Why did Selim get to grow up again, while Nina never could? How could it be that he was breathing, but Fu wasn’t. Why should he live and Martel die or Greed or the rest of the crew. How was it fair that Captain Buccaneer died for Amestris while defending something else than his Fort Briggs? Why was everything so unfair in death?

He took a deep breath and shook it off. The girl was still looking at him with unblinking eyes, he smiled at her and said: “You helped today, you made sure you never have to see a battle field or a city in ruins. Remember that.”

If she hadn’t expected that, she didn’t show. She just gave Edward a mysterious smile and said: “The Thestrals like you, don’t sit near their wings too much.”

Then she climbed on one and waited for the others to join her. 

~

Hermione got of the Thestral with the rest. All were making their way over to Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing, all but Mister Elric. She lagged behind then turned around to go over to him. He raised one of his brows at her and she began: “Mister Elric, I-”

Mister Elric cut her off: “Hermione, after that you can call me Ed, it’s short for Edward. We’re not that far apart.”

“Okay, Ed.” it felt kind of strange on her mouth, but it fit him better than Mister Elric, “I wanted to ask what you’re going to do now. Will you come back next year?”

Ed shook his head: “No, sorry, this year was good for me. I needed a break from helping rebuilding Central and Ishval, but I’ve healed a bit and there are mistakes I need to fix at home. I’m not made for the easy life.”

“Oh.” it was the only thing she could say.

“Don’t be sad. You still have to take my very hard exam and after that, well, you can write me if you want, I think I would like to know what great things you do.” he said with a genuine smile, “Besides, you still need to tell me how I can donate to S.P.E.W.”

She smiled back and said: “I will, don’t worry. Can I ask you something else?”

“I would be concerned if you didn’t ask questions.” Ed laughed.

Hermione rolled her eyes, but still asked: “Did you mean it? What you said to Luna, I mean. Were you serious?”

“Yeah, I did. Kids shouldn’t fight a war, they shouldn’t have to fear for their safety and worry about the future of the world, you fought a battle today, but you didn’t fight a war and that’s what matters. You never know how it’s gonna go, but you know you prevented the worst. Anyway, I’m just rambling, talking wisdom like I’m Teacher or something.” he shuddered.

Hermione giggled and said: “You like to act dumb, but you’re pretty wise.”

Ed smirked and said: “I am dumb, ask anyone I know and they tell you and I hope you’re not as dumb as me, because I’m still waiting to ask out a girl I’ve known for years, cause I’m so scared. Be smart, Hermione.”

He looked over her shoulder than back at her and gave her a meaningful look. She turned around and saw Ron on his own, still waiting on her, she whirled around and mouthed: “Really.”

“Be smart, Hermione.” he repeated with a grin, then he turned around and walked away, he waved with his right hand and she could see his automail where his glove had been ripped. He called over his shoulder: “Do well on my exam.”

~

Ring, Ring, Ring

“Ugh, yeah, hello this is General Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, speaking. Who is calling a government line?” Roy answered the phone.

From the other side came a cheery voice he knew all to well: “Bad news, I got involved. Good news, there’s no wizard war to worry about anymore!”

“What did you do now, Fullmetal!” Roy roared into the line.

“Sheesh, nothing much bastard, but expect a bill about the Ministry of Magic interior, although Hogwarts might have to cover it.” Roy could basically hear the air of dismissal in that statement.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he imagined the stacks of paperwork that would follow his youngest subordinate out of England. Fullmetal didn’t seem to care, because he cheerily said: “I’ll be back tomorrow to give you a full report. See you then!”

“Don’t you hang up on me.” Roy yelled, “You explain yourself, now.”

“Nah, I think I’ll do that tomorrow, I want to see your face while I tell you.” the smug little shit said, he went on asking: “Hey, are we sending anyone as a replacement for me? If so who?”

Roy decided it wasn’t worth the fight, so he said: “We were thinking of sending Armstrong over, if they’ll have us after your stunt.”

“Don’t worry so much, of course they will.” he could visualize Fullmetal waving his concerns away, “But, Armstrong you say? Those poor little bastards.”

An evil glint got into Roys eyes as he said: “Yeah, little, like you.”

As expected Fullmetal exploded: “WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE THE BUGS WON’T EVEN NOTICE IF THEY-”

Beeeeeep.

“Bye, Fullmetal.” Roy said to the cut of line.

He smirked to himself, but that smirk was quickly wiped away by Hawkeye, who told him she was kind enough to bring him the new paper work, since it seemed he had time to insult Elric, so he must be done with his last stack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad that it's done, but I am very happy with the story as a whole. I never expected the kind of feedback that I got and it was very lovely to see all the comments and I will still be active in them, but I did want to say thank you!  
You are all invited to come scream to me in my tumblr ask imbox or messages (@schrijverr is my username), so I hope you pop in and say hi!

**Author's Note:**

> I live for Kudos and Comments, so if you leave any I am very grateful!!


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